How to Win Back Someone's Love

by Maggie McCormick

When you have lost someone's love, you may feel desperate to get it back. You want to feel the security and love that you once felt. Unfortunately, this isn't actually easy to do--you can't just send flowers and be done with it. Winning back someone's love can take major changes in your life and a great deal of time for healing. If you are certain that you should get back together with the person, you can work toward rebuilding trust and rekindling the flames of love.

Step 1

Work on yourself. Even if your relationship ended a long time ago, you may still be a mess. You may be depressed or desperate--and it shows. Your ex won't be interested at all if you are still in this state. You need to start feeling good about yourself first. Get some exercise, get a new haircut and buy some clothes that make you feel sexy. You'll begin to feel confident, and others will take notice.

Step 2

Take note of why you lost the love in the first place. Your ex left you for a reason. You should be sure you understand that reason. If you cheated or lied, then it's easy to understand, but you may not know what you did if you got an, "It's not you, it's me" speech.

Step 3

Change your ways. Once you know what you were doing to cause the break up, change it. For example, if your ex left because he wanted someone more adventurous, start doing things that are outside your comfort zone. If he left because you cheated, resolve to be a one-man kind of woman.

Step 4

Apologize to your ex. Tell him that you truly regret the mistakes you made and that you are sorry for it.

Step 5

Discuss the possibility of getting back together. You need to tell your ex that you want to get back together and what that means. You'll need to have open communication to avoid the problems that you had before and to make the relationship work this time.

Tip

  • While getting rid of negative personality traits is a good thing, if you have to change yourself so much that you can hardly recognize yourself just to win back someone's love, that's a clear sign that you shouldn't be with the person.

About the Author

Maggie McCormick is a freelance writer. She lived in Japan for three years teaching preschool to young children and currently lives in Honolulu with her family. She received a B.A. in women's studies from Wellesley College.

Photo Credits

  • cupids dartboard image by Peter Baxter from Fotolia.com