Why Is it So Difficult for a Man to Apologize?

by Josienita Borlongan

Many people wonder why it is difficult for most men to say they are sorry. Unfortunately, has become common in our society for men not to apologize. As kids, most men learned from their elders to say "excuse me," "please," "thank you" and "I am sorry." But as men grow older, the latter becomes more difficult to utter, especially with the opposite sex.

Too Much Pride

A proud man may find it difficult to apologize, even though deep down inside he knows he is wrong. This is an example of a man's ego that is out of line. He is more worried about hurting his pride than saying he is sorry, or worse, he worries more about his pride than his partner's feelings.

Appearance of Weakness

Similar to the first, it is all about the image or perception. Appearing weak in front of the opposite sex is something most men try to avoid. To some men, asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness. They think that apologizing diminishes self-respect.

Admission of Guilt

Some men simply do not like to be wrong. To them, it is a sign of incompetence. If they admit their mistake by asking for forgiveness, it is an admission of guilt. Some men would rather be rude and not apologize than admit they were wrong.

Action Speaks Louder than Words

Men apologize in a different way than most women do. To them, it is much more difficult to say it with words; therefore, they show it in deeds. Buying their partners peace offerings such as flowers, jewelries, chocolates or other gifts are enough to show how sorry they are. Sometimes, men become extra attentive to their partners, hoping they will notice. Interestingly, women often do realize their men were apologizing even when there were no words spoken.

Fear of Rejection

Some men do not apologize for fear of rejection. Apologizing becomes a dilemma to most men who expect a negative outcome. These men go through a roller-coaster emotional ride of making a decision whether to apologize or not. They find it difficult to plan on how, when and where to say the dreaded "S" word because they fear the outcome will not be favorable.

Avoiding Confrontation

Some men cannot apologize because they try to avoid a confrontation. This may be because of a bad experience with a past attempt at asking for forgiveness that ended up in a war of words. Women can be guilty of being confrontational; rather than accepting the apology and forgiving their partners, they make sure they have the last word. Some women want to teach their men a lesson rather than just accept the apology and move forward. Nagging words can cut like a knife and be lethal to a relationship.

About the Author

Josienita Borlongan is a full-time lead web systems engineer and a writer. She writes for Business.com, OnTarget.com and various other websites. She is a Microsoft-certified systems engineer and a Cisco-certified network associate. She graduated with a Bachelor of Science in medical technology from Saint Louis University, Philippines.